Feeling Safe Is A Necessity

17 Dec

Feeling safe is an expectation you would assume you are born with. Regretfully, experiences in the womb may have left you feeling unsafe.

Many clients have said they haven't ever felt safe in their lives. When we explore what that means, to be safe. It transpires there were occasions while in the womb when they could feel their mother's fear and anger or hear and feel her increased heartbeat and breathing.

This, in turn, affects the feeling of safety into adulthood. Through no fault of their own, they are born already programmed to feel unsafe.

That is then compounded growing up by neglect, abuse, and feelings of rejection and abandonment.

Your Body and Mind Knows

When you feel unsafe, you feel constant tension in your body and carry a weight upon your shoulders. You fear wondering what is going to happen next. You disconnect from your emotions; it's safer not to feel, just in case you are hurt again by the behaviour of those who you expect and want to love and protect you.

You become hypersensitive to any perceived threat. Living in a state of fight, flight or freeze, only too aware that you don't trust anybody. Yet, at the same time, you yearn to be accepted and 'rescued.'

Know and Understand

Rescued

But what is a rescuer? A caring, loving person, whether a partner or friend. However, you can find yourself going into the same reactive mode, unconsciously, as you have previously, to protect yourself from harm, all because that is what you do to protect yourself.

And as wonderful as it is to have a 'rescuer', you need to be your own rescuer.

Vs Rescue Yourself

Nobody can make you feel safe until you feel safe in yourself, which comes after you have provided for your basic needs, such as food, warmth, water, shelter and sleep.

Only then will you meet your safety requirements of security, stability, and protection from harm and danger.

How safe are you feeling now?

Are there areas of your life that leave you feeling insecure and unsafe? Then, you are likely to have experienced psychological damage, which needs addressing for you to reach a point of internal safety.

How?

Listen to The Empowered Women Life Leaders Podcast - Know Yourself, Empower Yourself, available on all the major podcast platforms. It is a good place to start.