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Do you treat money as a friend?

friendAs a child you learn from your parents and those around you how to interact and play with other children and even adults. The aim is to build relationships, to be confident and connected with others so you aren’t bullied or be unable to interact.

Think back to your school years and remember how it felt as you got to know the different children, the ones you gelled with. They became friends and but there were some children you just didn’t make friends with.

Money is part of your life, whether you like it or not,  therefore you need to be friends with money to enjoy life, it can be tough otherwise.

What is your relationship with money?

You are probably laughing, why do you need a friends with money it makes no difference it’s only money? But actually it does.  When you are friends you are able to increase your money by investing in yourself, your businesses, or simply managing your money effectively.

Unfortunately when you are not  friends with money, you experience worry and stress often living in financial restraint.

Whilst you may think it is your beliefs about money, wealth, and rich people that control your thoughts and behaviour with and towards money It is in fact your beliefs about you as much as anything that is the problem.

How do you behave with money?

Take a moment to review how you behave with money…

Are you indifferent? You don’t know how much money you have or what happens to it?

Or do you love spending? Are you in debt?  Does money flow out, even before it has had a chance to flow in?

Do you hate spending would you rather hang on to it?

Are you constantly in survival mode, with only enough money to live?

How to restructure your relationship with money

Can you remember any childhood events which have lead you to behave the way you do?

As a child you gave meaning to events, such as you weren’t good enough, maybe your father refused to let you have extra pocket money, yet gave it to your sibling.  Or your mother made you stay at home when you wanted to go out with your friends.

The meaning doesn’t have to be associated with actual money. It is how it made you feel at that time which will have the most effect on your ability to love, like or loath money.

To alter your behaviour with money, you need to focus on what triggers your thoughts as it is usually an emotional reaction to something happening around you or to you.

A prime example would be if you love to spend your trigger could be the behaviour or a comment by someone that emotionally leaves you feeling unwanted, unappreciated or even unloved.

Spending makes you feel better.  You buy just for the sake of feeling better, although rarely does the item you purchase give long term pleasure it will probably sit in a cupboard or wardrobe never used until you decided to give it away.

Money has to be loved, nurtured and protected, but not held so tight that it can’t be free to move. Once you learn this valuable lesson you will find that money starts to be more like a friend wanting to be with you.

Remember it is an emotional reaction that causes your behaviour with money, so take the time to observe what your triggers are.

You may be surprised what you learn in the process about you.